Better: A poem For Edge—By PJ

Soft Edge, watercolor by Kelly Eddington, 2024. Based on a screenshot from Atomic City.

Better: A Poem For Edge

PJ DeGenaro

Better

“What a beautiful world this will be / What a glorious time to be free” – Donald Fagen

This is not my country, but the country of my children:

A land of sudden floods and hungry fires

Where spotted lanternflies eat trees in Central Park

And cicadas swarm over Illinois, grazing ears.

I’m standing next to a mountain,

Carrying nothing but an ultra-light pack

Of protein bars and electrolytes,

Extra shirt and socks that wick moisture:

Food for a spaceman; fabrics of the future.

I choose a trail that winds upwards between 

Wild fields of California poppies and

Imagine lying down among thousands of small orange suns.

I could fall into a dream of death, like Dorothy 

Until the Lion, the Tin Man and Scarecrow

Show up to carry me out; I have a bit of a laugh 

Assigning each role to a particular friend,

And this of course is when another hiker passes me, 

Heading downhill.

I swear I am a normal person, ma’am, 

Just laughing to myself

There is no harm in me;

But I am not a man to inspire fear

And she is not afraid.

At the peak, I stand under blazing sun

Skin and muscles burning

In the land of the Tongva and the Chumash.

I don’t know if they made vision quests

And I think this is something I should learn.

The shadow that passes over does not belong 

To a bald eagle but a Cooper’s hawk,

Indifferent, as I’m too big to be gripped in its talons

Or eaten for its dinner.

The little hawk brings me no visions

But I can see the city spread out below

The pastel villas, shining towers and

Wide avenues of the land of the free:

Many things that I know and love

And many that I don’t.

The future looks better from here, but

With one hand raised before my eyes

I can make it all disappear,

A dizzying thought no electrolytes or protein bar can fix.

L.A. is drowning and sometimes I live in the hills.