The Miracle (Of Larry’s Mouth)—By Kelly And PJ
Sure, this microscopic attention to physical detail is a bit over the top, but we are both visually-oriented people with artistic backgrounds. We’re not musicians, obsessive collectors, or set list track-keepers. We can only play to our strengths. We love U2’s music, and we love the men who make it. The Miracle (Of *Insert Physical Asset Here*) is our attempt to explain the band’s enduring appeal to those who might question how four smallish, now-oldish individuals have the power to inspire screaming. The men don’t know, but the [middle-aged women] understand.
The Miracle (Of Larry’s Mouth)
Kelly Eddington and PJ DeGenaro
Kelly: Intentionally or not, U2 kept Larry Mullen Jr’s beauty under wraps for several years in the early 80s. Drummers are almost always relegated to the rear of the stage. Seated behind a bulky, body-hiding kit and in near-constant motion, a drummer is difficult to see and photograph.
I liked U2 casually when I was in junior high, which amounted to me watching them on MTV and buying Under A Blood Red Sky because it seemed like the kind of live greatest hits package my miniscule allowance could handle. Number of good photos of the band/Larry in the packaging: zero.
PJ: THIS IS SUCH AN ISSUE WITH U2. Did they really not know they were a good looking band, or were they so pure (as in "purely about the music") that they didn't want anyone to focus on that?
Kelly: An important question! So I was stunned in 1984 when this face appeared during the video for “The Unforgettable Fire.”
Hold on a second. THIS ANGEL BOY is the drummer? Why had I not noticed him before?
Here’s why. In the band’s early videos, Larry was criminally ignored. As I studied his lack of screen time last week, I became so enraged that I made a chart.
PJ: Folks, this is the most Kelly Eddington thing I have ever witnessed.
Kelly: Ha! This took me an entire afternoon.
Kelly: So Larry’s TUF moment marked the first time that his looks were weaponized by U2. As much as I loved the band in general as they wandered aimlessly through carnivals and snow and so on, Larry had my undivided adolescent-girl attention at 3:35. For me his smile was, at the time, the best part.
PJ: I was older than you. Let's just leave it at that.
Kelly: Larry is a dreamboat at any age, and what makes him even more appealing is the fact that he is a reluctant dreamboat. Talking and smiling only when it’s absolutely necessary (which affords him considerable mystique and may be the secret behind his eternal youth), Larry has no problem taking a literal backseat to the rest of the band. He just wants to hit things.
PJ: Relatable.
Kelly: After painting Larry for years, I’ve noticed that his mouth is a big part of his allure. Photos of Larry from U2’s early days show a very pretty young man made even prettier by a set of plump lips in a rosy shade of pink. His now 60-year-old lips are slightly thinner, but they’re still things of beauty. Because he rarely treats us to a great big smile, I’m going to concentrate on the classic Closed-Mouth Larry. Let’s break it down!
PJ: Well, you've certainly got me re-thinking Larry now.
Kelly: Along with a generous collection of extras (lip cleavage!), I think what makes Larry’s mouth special is the frequent presence of a slight snarl. It can be seen by examining the line between his lips, which is something like this (I’ve exaggerated it a bit).
It’s not a full-blown Elvis or Billy Idol snarl…
It’s a lot more subtle, but it is present most of the time. You can see the snarl in the photo below, where Larry seems to be telling us, “Please stop. I know. I can’t help it. I wish I looked less insanely beautiful. It’s actually an inconvenience.” Just for fun, I’ve given the rest of U2 Larry’s lips.
Kelly: Only Adam can handle them.
PJ: Wow, thank you for this timely example of body-horror. Timely, as in, Larry's birthday is Halloween. (To clarify).
Kelly: Ha! That took me fifteen minutes.
Kelly: Of all four U2s, Larry is the most conventionally handsome. This may have led Boy George to say things like, “I really fancy the drummer from U2. I’ll stay home with him any night,” and “If Bono still hasn’t found what he’s looking for, he should look behind the drum kit.”
PJ: The Irish author Colm Tóbín has said similar.
Kelly: Larry’s looks go down easy, and he is favored by a vast swath of the U2 fandom. In comparison, Bono, Edge, and Adam are unconventional and acquired tastes, but speaking for myself, once those tastes are acquired, they simply take over, and there’s no going back. As Julie Klausner once said, when it comes to men, “I like a little dirt in my sandwich.” And Larry’s more like a regular sandwich. A world-class regular sandwich, obviously.
But yeah, Larry fans, we get it. We totally get it. It’s those lips.
We see you, Larry.