I Got a Submarine: In Defense of “Get On Your Boots”—By PJ
I Got a Submarine: In Defense of “Get On Your Boots”
PJ DeGenaro
“Get On Your Boots,” the first single from No Line On The Horizon, was released on January 19, 2009. So this screed is a bit late for a real anniversary tribute, but to be fair there was a lot going on in my country that week.
Nah, the truth is I had absolutely no knowledge of GOYB’s exact release date until I saw the hate-fest pop up on Twitter that day.
Now, there are only three things in this world that can send me into a blind rage:
A Twitter “Wild Honey” hate-fest
A Twitter “A Man and a Woman” hate-fest
A Twitter “Get On Your Boots” hate-fest and also the U.S. Republican party
To the barricades, then!
There was a time, not very long ago, that I didn’t pay microscopic attention to U2. I guess I was busy? I was still listening to HTDAAB regularly, as it felt current enough, and I just assumed U2 would get around to releasing another album in their own good, mystical time. The world seemed a little less precarious back then.
So, on January 19, 2009 (apparently), I was driving around town, probably en route to or from the supermarket. I was listening to a friendly local radio station whose rock playlist has always been interspersed with too many unctuous male singer/songwriters. So chances are good that I was being driven to thoughts of vehicular homicide by John Mayer, when suddenly—with barely a segue—there were DRUMS! And a guitar that sounded like it could punch through solid steel!
“Finally!” I yelled at my empty car. “They’re playing a song with some balls ovaries gonads! Who can this be?”
The future needs a big kiss…
BONO!? Oh my God, it’s U2! At long last! It’s U2! And they are playing rock’n’roll!
My friends, I was so overjoyed I had to pull into the parking lot of the Container Store and just sit there for a while.
Hey! Sexy boots
Get on your boots, yeah
Sexy boots? I think I might still have some in the back of my closet. I will dust them off!
You don’t know how beautiful
You don’t know how beautiful you are
Aw, thanks, guys. You’re not so bad yoursel—UNEXPECTED LED ZEPPELIN DRUM BREAK!
Okay, so this song does have a lot of moving parts. And yes, Bono’s lyrics can be a little bit scattered, but I caught the theme right away—you’re having a fun night out with family (candy floss, ice cream, screaming kids, fireworks) while just a few thousand miles away, real bombs are exploding.
I think, in part, GOYB is a song for the daughters, who were old enough in 2009 to understand this paradox. (That’s someone’s stuff they’re blowing up! We’re into growing up!)
Bono tends to be tuned in on all channels at all times, so it’s easy to think of U2 songs that pit love against a backdrop of war. And it’s the plain truth that our fleeting moments of personal bliss are always happening in a world at war.
I didn’t mean to get serious. Sorry. GOYB is absolutely a hot mess, and I loved it from the start. It felt so energizing, and yes even daring, amid the bland fare on “adult alternative” radio. I instantly wanted to hear it seven million more times.
“Gonna go to the record store ASAP,” I muttered to absolutely no one. “Here’s fifteen bucks, little man. Put that CD in my hand!”
I also liked the cluttered, claustrophobic video, in which the band is in danger of being crushed to death by gigantic women. Maybe that’s their preferred exit strategy. I don’t judge.
But again, I was not really partaking of the online U2 fandom at the time, so it was a while before I wandered innocently into the forums and learned that GOYB is, if not universally reviled, at least deeply unpopular. Why?
The “Bad Choice for a First Single” Argument
“It’s not that it’s a bad song. It just doesn’t represent the album very well.” Well, okay, Ahmet Ertegun. I have to admit, in my many years of music fandom, I never knew the first single had to give listeners an accurate indication of how the whole album would sound. I thought singles were supposed to grab your attention. Neither “Beautiful Day” nor “Elevation” prepared me for the quiet meditativeness of the rest of ATYCLB, but they did make me want the album.
“Boots was so disappointing that nobody bought the album.” Well actually, NLOTH was number five on the Billboard rock chart for 2009. A Nickelback album came in at number one, followed by the Twilight soundtrack. I think this demonstrates that there is absolutely no reason for a U2 fan to worry about what anyone else thinks of U2. End of.
“It’s an attempt at fake rock, like ‘Elevation’ and ‘Vertigo.’” I saw a couple of people say this and I honestly don’t even know what it means. What is “fake rock?” Feel free to let me know.
This Subhead Isn’t for Everyone, Just the Men
Some fans spent an entire decade wishing U2 would get “experimental” again. Then U2 gave them NLOTH—produced by Eno, no less!—and the same fans were like “Okay, but not like that.”
Some fans reflexively clench flinch when Bono throws an acknowledgement of sex into a song. It seemed okay when he was 31, but not when he was 48. I think 40 might be the cutoff for acknowledging sex, but I could be wrong. If anyone out there is 39, please contact me on your 40th birthday and let me know if you felt anything change at midnight.
Which leads me to the truly head-scratching discomfort about the title, which some have claimed is an African (no specific country given) expression for putting on a condom. Like…so what if it is? What could anyone possibly find objectionable about that? You put on your boots for war; you put on a condom for not-war. Acceptable title, problem solved.
What Do We Want From U2, Anyway?
“The world would have responded differently if ‘Magnificent’ had been the first single.”
The world? In the end, are we more concerned with what other people think of U2 than we are with our own enjoyment? Is that what it’s all about when people squirm over certain songs?
I can remember when U2 went from being a very popular new wave/modern rock band to suddenly being able to fill stadiums. It kinda sucked! I didn’t want to share them with the boring people! I’ve since become slightly less of a jerk (slightly), but I simply do not care if anyone questions my judgment for still being in love with U2, and I think we would all be happier if we embraced that attitude and just let the fellas be goofy when they want to.
And before you accuse me of “uncritically” loving everything U2 has ever recorded, don’t bother. There are a few U2 efforts that I don’t like very much at all. I won’t name names, but love, rescue me from that interminable song. (Send hate-mail to me, not Kelly, at thepeej333@gmail.com).